Leadership Reflection
Theory U class last week makes me surprised on the movement of my mind and my body.
I come from a
Buddhist country and have tried many kinds of meditation. Meditation is a part
of Thai culture. I learned it from school when I was in grade 4 and continued
practicing until I finished my high school. After that I also tried to join
some group or organization to extend my meditation experience.
However, this is my
first time to learn “Theory U”. On the first day of this class that was called
‘Presencing stage I’ I did not feel anything much. I have learnt the concept of
meditation for long time. I understand what is meant by saying keeping your
mind with your body. Why do I have to learn this Buddhist concept from the
western people? I saw many friends in class did not seem to pay much attention
on what the instructor said. I feel like we did not understand clearly on what
the instructor wanted us to do. I tried to follow what the instructor was doing
first but I ended up with my traditional way of sitting meditation.
The second class,
Presencing stage II, began on the afternoon. I saw some friends try the ‘20
minutes dance’, the period that let people do anything they like but they have
to know what they were doing before the class began, for napping. I found that
this time I can be more focused on what the instructor taught, so I decided to
join this class on Saturday which was optional.
Presencing stage III
began on a nice Saturday morning. Only 14 people from the group of 31 people
joined this class. I felt the atmosphere was totally different from the
previous day. Less people made the room look bigger. I began the 20 minutes
dance with the calm mood and finished with refreshed feeling.
On the morning, the
instructor taught us to do ‘Sculpture’. I’ve never heard this word and was also
not clear about what she wanted me to do. To say the truth most of the words
that she taught on the class and the way she taught me to do was new. She told
me that just let your body decide what to do. I tried to begin with the posture
that I thought it was my expression on my problem, which is the sculpture I and
then I was surprised when my body moved to the new posture without thinking,
which is the sculpture II. My whole body straightened up and my hands moved up
to the sky. I felt some spark in my mind! Why did my body change to the new
posture like that? I opened my eyes suddenly. I felt the mind guide me to
explore new things and then some solution will come from new people that I will
meet in the future. I do not know whether that is true.
In the afternoon, the
class began with case clinic which is doing ‘Sculpture’ with other people as a
group moving on the same direction without any conversation. We formed the
group of 5 people and then someone in the group has to tell his or her problem
to groups’ member. I was that person, the case giver! I told a lot of problems
that I had in my mind on that time and I knew it made both myself and my group
confused on what I really want to do. The coach in the group tried to narrow my problem down. He told me
that the group can focus only one simple problem which was my communication
with people in my learning lab. All members in my learning lab are nice but I
always feel disconnected and could not understand clearly when we have to
discuss together. I felt bored and distracted out of the conversation when I
could not catch up the topic or idea that they talked. I found it was hard for
me to understand those western people logic.
The coach who was
also part of my learning lab told me politely to just close my eyes and let
your body decide what to do and then we will follow you. I began to sit hugging
my knees and then I placed my hand over my face to think what to do next. I
felt someone ran around me and then she stopped in front of me. I opened my
eyes and saw one of the group members sitting in the same posture as me. I was
confused and did not know what to do and the coach who has to control the time
told me “don’t worry just close your eyes”. I tried to close my eyes again. This
time something happened when I felt someone sitting beside me. I wanted to
touch her. My hand moved towards her and then she grasped my right hand. I felt
like I still need one more hand to help me to stand up. My left hand moved to
another side and someone grasped it firmly. I slowly stood up by holding both
hands. I felt other people in the group walked towards me. I tried to grasp
every hand and put them together. I tried to drag all hands towards my side by
walking backwards. Surprisingly no one moved towards me. Someone draw her hand
out whereas someone put his hands support my back. I changed my mind again. If
I could not drag people to my way, why not try to be a part of them? I extended
my both hands to the shoulders of people beside me. They responded generously…
We all bent our heads towards each other in a tight little circle. I felt warm
welcome energy as the part of this group circulating and surrounding. I opened
my eyes and told everyone that I was fine to finish the scripture step and ready
to go for the next step which was sharing feeling.
I began to share my
feeling first and then followed by other members. Everyone has his or her
feeling differently. I learned a lot from this conversation. Below is something
that I feel valuable to know and change the way I thought from now on.
-Everyone here is
friends. Friends always stay besides and support. Don’t worry.
-Leadership is no
need to be the first initiative…the second is the fire which make other follow.
-Everyone have the
different point of view. Even if they do not follow you, it doesn’t mean they
do not like you or do not want to support you.
-Do not judge what
others think about you. Someone may want to help. He or she does not intend to
make you feel bad.
-Everything here is
learning process. No one can be a leader in a short time.
-If you have the
problem on catching the topic, why don’t you try to begin the topic first? If
you really could not understand when others saying, why don’t you ask them to
slow down?
-Today you lead the
group. Even though it is just a little group, you are the leader when everyone
follows your initiative.
-Being part of the
group is not that hard. Everyone can connect.
I remember Scott ask
in the discussion group that do you think life is about creating memories or
creating future? He said creating memories is having fun now. I did not answer
him on that day. I do not think that I am a person who likes to have fun all
the time or a person who plan everything for future all time. However, for me
life means living the moment. How can we create the bright future without
making this moment valuable first? Three days presencing class also helps me to
create my future by changing my thought to connect with people and be more
positive.
I was one of that Sat.'s sculpture members^^*, good memory!!
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