Return home after a 10-month study and work in Hawaii (Aug 2012 – May 2013)

Dear APLP-G12 Ohana: This week I’m sharing with you some reflection about my summer holiday journey back to Hanoi of June and July this year.  After becoming a new permanent resident of Hawaii, studying and working for ten months in this beautiful paradise, I was really looking so forward to returning to my hometown – Hanoi where I was born and where my mom was waiting for my family return. A mixed feeling between staying in Hanoi or continuing to reside and live in Hawaii was struggling within me for a while, and finally, I still chose to come back to Hawaii. Was it a right decision? I did not know but I made it based on the feeling from my heart with this peaceful island, the hope for a brighter future for my children, and of course my pursuing career development. 

My mom and house in Hanoi

The two months in Hanoi went so fast with a lot of activities I wanted to accomplish. One of the plans was making sure I did everything I could to make my mom happy. She had been staying alone in our house only with the two kitty-cats. I was fortune enough to live with her since I was born, even after I got married, until we moved to Hawaii last August. That - being so reliant on her (and maids, even two of them at one point)  for housework and taking care of my children – really spoiled me. 

Photo of my mom in Ha Long Bay, July 2013

I was so glad to be able to take her and the family to this most recommended destination of Vietnam that is in the northeast of Vietnam, this UNESCO World Heritage Site. It was her first time to visit it, and Ha Long Bay is only a couple of hours from Hanoi. This phenomenon is true for many other Vietnamese too. “No time, no money,” they’ll say. No real interest in travel?! I digress! 

To me, if a great travel destination has no dancing, music, no shopping, or no beach, then it has no appeal to me (Ha Long has everything I like), whereas my husband loves rustic places out in the remote, such as Sapa and Ba Be National Park. 

Unlike many Vietnamese women who move to stay with their husband’s family upon marriage, and their independent life beginning at that point, I only began my new independent (away from mother) life in Hawaii relatively recently in the August last year! 

What a tough life without my mother (and maid)! I started to learn how to cook, do laundry, clean the house, take care of children, and at the same time concentrated on the five months (first semester) where staying on the University of Hawaii campus was required because of the very intensive leadership training program of the East West Center. 

Picture taken in June 2013:This is a typical meal my mother cooked for us in Hanoi. I miss my mom’s cooking!

A traditional Vietnamese meal always includes three or four dishes that definitely include a bowl of soup and vegetables. I could never do anything like this in Hawaii because of some traditional Vietnamese foods and ingredients not being available in Hawaii, and, of course, it is time-consuming. Her modus operandi is spending hours upon hours each day cooking. Her hands have never touched a can or processed food.


We also made sure the house in Hanoi was repainted and well maintained for my mom to stay. Further, with it being a five-story house too big for only her, we rented out part of it upon our leaving Hanoi.

My house in Hanoi taken by Yuan. She and Nancy went there to see my mom during their GIST journey,  Spring this year.

Our house is in the west of Hanoi. It’s the grey one in the middle.  True for many other houses in Hanoi, its architecture and decor is much influenced by the French style except the grey was my favorite color for it. Many other houses and buildings maintain the French traditional yellow mixed with brown.

It has turned out great that the tenant family is very nice and has established marvelous relations with my mother. Every two weeks, we have a video call through skype with my mom. The tenant helps my mom connect to the internet if she has trouble. The wife also helps print out letters from my son who writes my mom every month. This is a plus:  I am so glad that writing to his grandmom will enable him not to forget his mother language – Vietnamese, at least at the level as his is now.



Reunion with friends

Networking and reconnecting with friends were part of my life interest and social activities.  It is always great to make new friends, reconnect with people, have fun, and learn so many things from them. And I think that is the best way to be update on what is indeed going on today in Vietnam instead of just relying on the public media which is many times manipulated and always, absolutely all of it, strictly controlled by the government.

This is an example of my gathering and doing farewell with former colleagues at the Danish Embassy in Hanoi in July 2013 

The typical Vietnamese culture for reunions and farewells always start by eating on the outside, then coffee, music, karaoke, and dancing. I was so happy to see my co-workers after 10 months away from my Business-to-Business Program of the Embassy.


Decision to move to Hawaii 

December 2012:

 After struggling in determining whether I should stay in Hanoi to continue my great job at the Danish Embassy, I decided to quit my post in December 2012L. I sent the reassignment letter to the Ambassador two days before Christmas L. The original plan was my returning to work after completing the first semester of APLP at the East-West Center. However, the life in Hawaii and family status had bitten into my original plan.


 It was very sad because I loved my job and was really enjoying working at the Embassy with my co-workers, and most importantly the work in which I was involved had contributed significantly to the business community. I love supporting, connecting, and matching people from different cultures for their collaboration and business success, and I am glad that I have followed my passion for more than a decade to help the private sector in Vietnam, Denmark, and previously for Singapore, Taiwan, Laos, Cambodia, and the U.S. Work as such is meaningful, thereby making my life happy. 

July 2013

 Once again, during the two-month holiday in Hanoi, I had to deal with a similar struggle. I was attracted with a possibility of a great job offered by a UNDP-Swiss program, one that would be the dream job for many Vietnamese people in Vietnam, and it was probably something I wouldn’t be able to find in Hawaii. It took me a month to determine whether it would be worthwhile for me to take this job or not.

 Finally, Hawaii would still be my destination! Why? Well, there are so many reasons involved in my decision-making. Generally, I love my country, the beautiful culture, and sophisticated people. I would definitely want to return when opportunity exists for holiday or duty travel. However, as is the case of many other parents in Vietnam wishing their children to enjoy a better education system, cleaner climate and environment to live, here we own a home in Waikiki, Hawaii, and our children are American citizens (Vietnamese citizens too).  Hence, should it be Hanoi or Hawaii?

 Some other factors notably irritating me were that the heavy bureaucracy, corruption, and food safety are still major issues in Vietnam especially those related to China’s negative influence. Staying and working in Vietnam could also mean that we would continue to suffer directly and indirectly from the reality of these factors. As a result, finally my choice for the present and future life – HAWAII.  Next article: Career development in Hawaii – easy or difficult? (to be continued next week).

Author: Loan Le